Why Does Obama Hide from TownHall Meetings?

Senator Obama, who has stated he would meet anytime and anywhere in TownHall meetings with Senator John Mccain, has been ducking every TownHall meeting invitation.
Invitation, hell. He's been offered any date he has open and he runs away like he has a hot meeting with Mahmoud Ahmadinejad who he's willing to meet anytime anywhere with no preconditions.

What is it Senator Obama is afraid that he may be asked in Fort Hood, by a military crowd, in an unstructured interview by ordinary folk instead of by his biased obama-luvin' media pals?

Apparently Obama just won't agree to meet with our Country's military patriots without preconditions.

He may be afraid that his cloaking device will be unplugged now that he has so many unanswered "issues" about his character and honesty and flipflopping to answer too.

I have a few ideas about what Military questions might be presented to Obama he is hiding from, but perhaps another platform of Townhall meetings Obama wants to avoid might go something like this: satire?

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Questioner: Did you say in 2004 that you did not have the experience to run for President in 2008?

Obama: Well let me make it perfectly clear what I had been consistently consistent in saying back then - was I , um, what was the question? In which year?

Q: Senator, when asked if your intent was to serve out the six year senate term or make a run for the presidency you said it was a 'silly question" and that "I’ve never worked in Washington, I can unequivocally say I will not be running for national office in four years, and my entire focus is making sure that I’m the best possible senator on behalf of the people of Illinois."

Obama: Well I may have said, " Ah-ah-mumble-mumble, there's a presidential election in four years. I'm not running for president in four years." But, mumble-mumble, things on the ground have 'changed'. I am the one we have been waiting for. I am the Hope. I am Historical. But, listen, I have been consistent in saying that this election is not about me - it's about you! My wife would tell you, if you can't vote for me - then uh,um, you must be a ramumblecist.

Q: Well with little over one year as Senator, in which your voting record is pretty much non commital, and 2 years running a campaign, can you say your experience in having still never worked in Washington has changed?

Obama: I can unequivocally say this is a hard job. You see my hair turning gray? The people of Illinois understand I am doing this for them. It's been a long campaign with loads of experience. After Iowa it was on to the world! Don't you realize who you are talking too? "Generations from now we will be able to look back and tell our children that this was the moment" -- when, among other wonders, "the rise of the oceans began to slow!!" The people of Illinois understand this.

Q: But you haven't even shown up for votes - you voted "present" 130 times when you were there - the people you represent

Obama: We don't need people - we just need the checks!

We have another question for Senator Obama from this nice lady from Georgia.

Obama: Hold on a minute, sweety! I'd like to go back and make it consistently clear that many times you don't vote Yes or No in Illinois. It's not the way it's done there.

Q:Isn't this a stradegy to avoid any future politically controversial yes or no votes that you can be held to answer to?

Obama: ? Where you been? I already consistently said that I would not be running for president during those votes. My motives were pure! You don't believe me? Read my follow up politics in my second Book, the Audacity of trying to cover up the racism in my first Book.
Now there was a time when I hadn't looked far enough ahead beyond local Chicago politics. I grimaced re-reading it and had it changed on re-editions.
Besides, read the News, I don't have to answer to anything or anyone. All I have to do is show up. Present! The important vote is your vote for me. Be present!
We want you children to grab an adult and drag them alive or dead into the voting booth. Paint them a picture. Write them a story.
Go to my website, where peoples of all religions, race, creed, nationality, group, old, young, Women, terrorist sympathizers and radical politics are divided up into a convienent welcome format for you to Unite into your own separate American sections.
The USA is the Greatest Country in the World!! The Time to change it is Now!
YES we Can! Yes we Can!

Well, I'm not sure you clarified why you have so many "present" votes with that, but let's get back to this questioner Senator.
Q: Why do you have a forged Birth Certificate on your website?

Obama: You see this is what I get. It's a certificate of Live Birth. C.O.L.B.
Michelle has told you - "America is ignorant".
But people insist on mislabeling it as a birth certificate. My staff has to send out millions of emails categoricaly denying any presence of a false Birth Certificate on my website. What I will refuse to do, is that, um, ah, that somehow, is to allow my words to be questioned. There is no such thing there.

Q: But, Senator aren't you just playing word games here? The question is -

Obama: Words matter!!

Q - weather you -

Obama: Don't tell me words don't matter! We are the change that we seek! You people must not be listening to me!

Q: - you have a forged state document on your web site?

Obama; It's a non-issue. You see me? I was born. I am here. I'm right here. Why am I getting all the tough questions? I no longer need to be vetted. I'm the nominee. Don't vote against me because of who I am -- and I know you won't. I lowered the oceans!

Q: You certainly have a gift for redirecting. Let me try this. There doesn't seem to be any Hospital records of your birth - why don't you produce a true Birth Certificate and quell all these questions about -

Obama: Well, you know, I've been in favor of that from the start but I won't be questioned on this. People should do their jobs and not spread mis-information. It doesn't matter what I said or did 10 years ago- what matters is what I can do for you for the next 10 years. I'm going to demand hard work from you all and -

Q: So you won't answer the question?

Obama: Well, as I've said all along, I've been quite consistent in answering your questions.

Q:ok, well, lets move on. In your Book "Dreams from My father" did you, or did you not, say in it that you made faces at the teacher while studying in your Koranic classes?

Obama: You know this has all been hashed and rehashed. I have instituted a Goon-squad to infiltrate the net to wipe out these lies by liars. My FighttheFears website unequivocally has straightened out the truth. People believe I was sworn in on a Koran - that wasn't me -talk to Keith!

Q: Did you, or did you not, say in your autobiography that you made faces at the teacher while studying in your Koranic classes?

Obama: What part of avoiding your question with a straight answer confused you?
I've been very clear that the American people want to stay on the issues...I'd like to ask Senator McCain a question...can someone pleeeeeeeeeease wake him up?

Q: But Senator, certainly it would be an 'issue' to the American people if you have been untruthful about...

Obama: You see this is why I have resisted these Town hall style of meetings. The internet has provided so much background on me that it's hard to keep up- I can be asked some of the most racist hateful things and expected to come up with an answer without a Teleprompter. Is this any way to run a clean campaign?

Q: You haven't answered the question - let me ask you another one- isn't "HUSSEIN" a Muslim name straight from the Koran?

Obama: We don't speak of my middle name- it's racist and divisive.

Q: The fact that you have an Arab name is racist?

Obama: Divisive.

Q: Divisive?

Obama: And funny.

Q: Well what I am tryin to get to here is

Obama: I have repeatedly said that Hussein is Hebrew for 'blessed'...

Q: Well that's what you said to a jewish group - but then you told a black group that it was swahiili...Hussein actually comes out of the Koran as does Barack,...Obama is also Arabic.

Obama: semantics. anti-semantics. As my website states it is 'vile' to keep accussing me of being Muslim. There's nothing wrong with being a muslim unless you aren't one. What we need here is a health care system that will cover the world. I have a plan. No one will be left behind. Corporations can afford it. My Global Welfare Act will revolutionize! We are our brother's keeper. Individualism is selfish. Someone is going to have to give up a piece of their pie so that someone else can have more.
Tax payers can turn their air conditioners down. Ride a bike. You waste my time when you distract from the issues. Did I tell you that the Republicans will try to tell you that I am a scary guy with a funny name.

Q: Let's try to get back to...listen, You are running as America's first Black President but aren't you actually an Arab-American, or Kenyan-American?

Obama: Why do you people do this? My mother was white, my granfather fought in WW11, although a bit murky as to details and funny looking documents on my website, I was allegedly born sometime,somewhere, in Hawaii. I watched astronuats come ashore. I am American. There is No Black or white America. John Mccain is a good American, an honorable man, Hillary is likeable enough. Don't vote for either one because they aren't the one we've been waiting for. Arabs are good people but gasoline prices are up and my foriegn over-seas paypal donations are way down ...How could I not be black enough when 92% of blacks voted for me because of my race? I am historical!! Have I mentioned the Republicans will say I'm black?

Q: Senator, we'll get to that. But, by being born Muslim, of your fathers bloodline, and later becoming unapologicticaly christian aren't you now considered to be an apostate? A death sentence in the Arab islamic World? Couldn't this present a problem -

Obama: Look, I have consistently said my father was a non practicing Muslim goat herder who abandoned his family for another white woman and became a disallussioned drunken victim of European politics. The bloodline thing is a bit murky too, which is why I rethought my no preconditions statements after having my Christianity questioned - we'll have to come to some security understandings before I sit down to negotiate America's surrender.

Q: Surrender?

Obama: Where are my spokespersons? They will clear this up tommorrow. ah, um, uh, Islam means 'surrender'- I was probably thinking about that out loud. Yeah, that will work. I misthought. Misssspoke. You know next week I will remind you that I never said that. Everytime you people do this I have to come up with a new speech. Anyone have a smoke??

Q: Senator. What the people care about is that you have LIED about your ties to Islam. Many of your asscoiates and donors are tied to Islam. Several of the Boards you sat on funded terrorist groups. Why have you stated consistently that you are not Muslim and have never been Muslim when you state in your autobiography that you went to a muslim school and studied your koranic verses?

Obama: Distractions. You think that if you keep repeating it then people will believe it. I can do that too! I have repeatedly said that I am unapologetically Christian. I have always been Christian. We need to reach across the asile and bring all of the religions together. We can demand a lot more entitlments that way when churchs find common ground and set aside minor differences. Power to the people! Have I told you lately that I'm Christian? I can give you a few versus from Sermon on the Mount if you are a disbeliever.

Q: So you are not going to admit that you wrote that you had Muslim schooling in your Book? That you wrote that Malcom-X offered the only path to black nationalism that was different? That your church gave a Man of the Year Award to anti-semite, Louis Farrakah, the Nation of Islam racist leader?

Obama: That's the type of politics we are trying to get away from. You can't judge a man by the characters around him. I'm around Republicans everyday. I'm even friendly with one or two. It doesn't mean I agree with them. Some of them are not even the Republicans I used to know. I'm Christian.

Q: Well I guess that brings us to a questioner who wants to know how you could deny knowing what was going on in this Black Liberation racist church that you attended for 20 years?

Obama: It wasn't racist on the days I attended.

Q: So, it was, basicaly, only racist on the days that you didn't attend?

Obama: I didn't say that.

Q: Well, how could you not know? You eventually had to quit the church and -

Obama: People were calling sick people...the church was being harrassed. I didn't disown the church I saved it from distraction.

Q: So it was important to you that this racist theology continue on it's merry way and stop being exposed and harrassed? Senator you took your children to this biggoted madrassa styled congregation. What does that say to your judgment? To your moral credentials? More generations of people, cheering and applauding, while being taught to hate doesn't sound Christian to me.

Obama: Blacks are understandably angry. I'm a Christian. Whites are feel guilty. You sound bitter. I know a good pastor who will be available on November 5th you could talk to. I am Chrisitian.

Q: With a Funny name.

Obama: Have you mentioned that I'm Black?

Q: Yes.

Obama: That's racist.

Q: I'm racists?

Obama: You said it not me!

Q: Senator, senator, how can a church that believes in the destruction of the so called white enemy and the white mans god be considered christian?

Obama: It was not like that when I showed up. I repeatedly denied ever hearing such divisive talk from my pastor.

Q: Well actually didn't you confess just a few days later that you had lied about never hearing such -

Obama: I have consistently said that there might have been a few "controversial" things I might have heard. I never lie.

Q: Yes we have seen the type of controversial people you surround yourself with.
The list seems to grow daily.

Obama: Can we move on? People don't care about this. They want to know what they are going to do about gasoline in their SUV's and being able to cling to their 2nd amendment rights.
For the woman who wrote me and asked for a job because she couldn't afford to put her grandmother through High school any longer. These are the people who tell my stories- sing my songs.
Remind me to send her a raffel ticket for my Coronation in the Grand Coliseum.
I am the fierce urgency of now.

"Allah is Supreme!
Allah is Supreme!
I witness that there is no god but Allah
I witness that there is no god but Allah
I witness that Muhammad is his prophet "

Ah, now that's just the prettiest sound on earth at sunset. Don't you think?
Where were we?
Oh, yes, I am the Dream!

Q: Ok, What is your position on Israel?

Obama: What day is it?

Q:Wednesday

Obama: I'll have to have someone check my schedule. It depends on who I am addressing today. It could be that Israel is likable enough and will have Jerusalem as it's undivided Capital. I say so. That's it. No more questions!
On the other hand tommorrow after I think about it and if Palestinians and American Arabs object after hearing something like this, then the alternative is for the parties to get together and have disscussions.
Someone is going to have to give up a piece of their pie so that someone else can have more.
I have been consistent in my stance that as president eveything will change. We will conversate. This moment in time is the world in which Hope will bring people together from all sides without conditions and greed. We can't have barbed wire running through Jerusalem and dividing it. That's what I meant! Yeah, that'll work.

Q:HUH? Senator, have discussions?
Isn't that what every administration has tried to have these two peoples do for decades -

Obama: Hope!

Q: Hope?

Obama: and Change.

Q: Change? But, if neither side will

Obama: and Progress!

Q: Senator should Israel give up it's nukes?

Obama: I think Countries should lead by example. It's leaders should lead by example. That's why in my first term as president I will eliminate all US nukes, I will cut investments in unproven missile defense systems. I will slow our development of future combat systems, trim down the military, bring home billions of monthly Iraqi dollars needed for my entitlement programs. I don't switch positions or make promises that can't be kept. I don't posture on defense policy and I don't take money from federal lobbyists for powerful defense contractors. As president, my sole priority for defense spending will be protecting the American people. I will institute a civilian national security force! I believe in a nuke free world in which, although we may be the only ones without them, it will make us safer in the long run.

Q: How so? What sort of deterents to agressiveness, and threats of annialation, will you have by making this Country's military and defense systems weaker?

Obama: The weak are victims. When we appear to be victims we can demand justice. If we appear not to be so arrogant and mighty we can kneel down and talk. The strong always negotiate to retain their power base. Make them feel guilty! The weak regain power from the bottom up. We must negotiate. Teach them empathy! That's Progress!

Q: Haven't we all been talking for 30-40 years? What good has talk done? Only sanctions and Time has forced small degress of --

Obama: The TIME is Now! We can to seize the moment! We will topple the conservative enemy's of Mohammeds peaceful religion by finding out what they want and help provide for a fair distribution of services, opportunities and employment.
Islam's suffering poverty and ignorance, and helplessness has caused these people to act out of despair! Religion has nothing to do with the Muslim violence!!
We must make Islam dependent upon us. Take away their will. Litigate! Overwhelm them with complaints. Demand compassion! Organize!

Q: But Senator these aren't reasonable nor logical people we are talking about. They want to annihilate Israel, to wipe out the Great Satan.
US.
They want the entire world under Shirah law through a Caliphate conquest. They have been in a cultural war with each other, Sunni vs Shia, for 1400 years. What makes you think you can 'talk' to people like this that blow up bus loads of their own children and Love death more than we love life?

Obama: It's time for 'change'. People understand 'change'. And Hope.

We need to go to a commercial break...feel free to send in your questions and comments for Senator Obama...